Spoiler Alert: This is another one of those irritating “New Year, New Me” type of posts.
Well, yes it kind of is – it’s a ‘trying to be healthy’ post but there is a shit load of wine and a big fuck off pizza involved so it’s all good, right?
I’m pushing 40 years old now but my waistline has pushed out for a few years now and I’ve always said to myself I need to do something about it. I did…
However, two things happened over the holidays that made me realise I definitely had to something and do it quick.
1 – My mum told me that I looked ‘chubby’
2 – When trying to find something to wear to go on a night out, literally nothing in my wardrobe(s) fitted me so I had to resort to wearing a baggy jumper!
Don’t get me wrong I don’t have a very unhealthy diet. One of my main problems is lack of exercise, that’s assuming ‘lack’ means ‘fuck all’ of course. The second problem is the wine which over the past few years has become a nightly occurrence and even more so at the weekends. As you may already know…
So, something had to be done and I started the ‘regime’ on Monday. The regime mainly consists of soup so if you have any soup phobias then look away now.
I’ve not yet found a suitable breakfast soup so I’m still having my usual cereal for breakfast.
I’ve cut out my mid morning snack/coffee at work and replaced it with a fruity tea. Why do they always smell so much better than they taste?
Mid afternoon I have a light toffee yoghurt which I throw some raisins in to. I’m not sure if that’s a ‘thing’ or if I just invented it. Either way it’s the tits!
One of the biggest habits to break was trying not to pour a big glass of wine when I got home from work. Until I had a ‘light bulb’ moment that is – why don’t I just get something that looks like wine and tastes like wine but isn’t actually wine. Grape juice!
I then realised how difficult it is to find grape juice in the supermarket! Seriously, what’s that all about? If anyone knows why grape juice is as difficult to find as Donald Trump’s sanity then please do let me know. Anyway, I found this…
It’s not pure grape juice but it’s done the job for me over the first week. I even put it in my big man wine glass and pretended it was wine. Hey, if it works – it works, right?
More soup for dinner but this time proper soup – none of that watery bullshit in a mug. To go with the soup – some more Ryvita. This time, with a twist. Greg said he didn’t like Ryvita too much so I told him to thinly spread a little margarine on one and then sprinkle it with a small pinch of sugar. Let’s just say he was very impressed! I didn’t mention to him straight away about substituting the salt for pepper – I don’t think he could have coped!
What about the exercise? Well, of course I’ve not joined a gym or anything – that’s simply ridiculous. No, but I have gone for a ‘Power Pop Walk’ each night. What’s that, you say? It’s a brisk 30 minute walk while listening to some Steps songs obviously. It’s a start at least and every night this week I have achieved all my circles on my iPhone activity app – whatever the hell that means but it must be good. I might even get a badge soon!
Where’s the pizza and the wine?
They are set in stone! There’s no way a Friday will pass without a pizza and a bottle of wine so that DOES NOT CHANGE!
Happy Pizza Friday & Friday Wine Day!
What about you? Have you been on a health kick?
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