Apparently I Should Be A Crispy Pancake With Square Eyes And No Penis By Now

Lies you were told as kids

I’m sure that I’m not the only one who was told lies by adults when I was young!

Probably the most common one I got told was that if I kept eating too much of the same thing then I’d turn into that particular food. Therefore I should be a Findus Crispy Pancake by now – the mince beef flavour, of course.

Lies! I’m now neither crispy nor a pancake.

Whenever I watched too much television or played too much video games I was told that I would get square eyes.

More lies! Even although these days I struggle to keep my eyes open to even watch television they are most definitely not square! An interesting and weird fact about eyeballs, however, is that they are the same size today as they were when you were born. Weird, right?

Anyway, this has made me think about other lies I was told…

(1) If you play with it too much then it will fall off – it hasn’t, thank God!

(2) The “bad man” will come and get you – I feel that more specifics would have kept me safer.


(3) The quicker you go to sleep, the quicker it will be morning – I’m sorry, but no one can change time.


(4) If you swallow chewing gum you will die or worse – a bit harsh I thought!


(5) Stop picking your nose or your head will cave in – nope, it’s still enact and there’s nothing better than a good pick!


(6) You’ll go to Hell if you tell lies – yet to be proved or otherwise but judging by the previous there will be a lot of adults from my past there too!


(7) I’ll think about it – blatent lie, the answer was only always ever going to be the same…


(8) Wow, that painting is really, really good – no, they were all shit but well done – this is an example of a nice lie!


(9) Let’s play a game called “see who can be quiet for the longest” – not a game!


What about you? What lies were you told? Let me know in the comments below or send me a tweet @stevesays2014

16 thoughts on “Apparently I Should Be A Crispy Pancake With Square Eyes And No Penis By Now

  1. Such a fun post – but I was told the same lies. Another one is when you are grumpy and your mother says if the wind changes you will always be grumpy. Weird I know. Or when you make a nasty face if the wind changes you will always like that. You look out the window and there is no wind…….

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I got told that if I made a face and the wind changed direction I would be stuck with it forever. And the square eyes did sort of come true -my glasses are square. I tried not to say these things when my children were small but then again a few things might have squeezed through – will ask them in 10 years time.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I was told my face would get stuck like that while making funny faces ๐Ÿ™‚ haha no matter what face I made my beauty remained so I guess it iss true huh,, since I am still beautiful today and now more than ever
    Interesting fact you pointed out I never knew about-our eyeballs are the same size as when we were born…

    Liked by 1 person


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