Apparently I Should Be A Crispy Pancake With Square Eyes And No Penis By Now…

Steve McSteveface

I’m sure that I’m not the only one who was told lies by adults when I was young…

Probably the most common one I got told was that if I kept eating too much of the same thing then I’d turn into that particular food. Therefore I should be a Findus Crispy Pancake by now – the mince beef flavour, of course.

Lies! I’m now neither crispy nor a pancake.

Whenever I watched too much television or played too much video games I was told that I would get square eyes.

More lies! Even although these days I struggle to keep my eyes open to even watch television they are most definitely not square! An interesting and weird fact about eyeballs, however, is that they are the same size today as they were when you were born. Weird, right?

Anyway, this has made me think about other lies I was…

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